Wanna feel like a kid again? Wait, were you ever a kid? Buckle up bitches, and grab yourself a promo pack. Think of it as a crackerjack prize for adults.
- Two places to put your drinks. Made of the pulped remains of porn theater flyers.
- An honor badge, aka button with our hairdos on it.
- Icon pendant made of plastic from straws that milkshakes were sucked through.
- Fucking stickers! Sweet lord, it's adhesive vandalism.
- Our calling card
- Taint Paint. Chapstick that smells like a monkey's ass after a banana.
You will regret it the moment you click to purchase. No refunds. We know what you've been using the chapstick for. Whoar.